Be Your Spouse’s Best Friend

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“Remember to continue to be BEST FRIENDS.” (DM)

“He or she should be your best friend, and you should have interests in common.”

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Chris is, without a doubt, my best friend. I still have wonderful female “best friends” from various areas of my life (from high school, grad school, childhood etc.) But my ultimate best friend is now my spouse. I agree with the advice we were given above, that having common interests is so important. The cliche “opposites attract” is overrated. Having things we enjoy doing together has been one of the most fun parts of our marriage. If our interests were divergent, we’d have less reasons to spend together.

I also see a deeper meaning in the advice to “be” your spouse’s best friend. Being a friend to someone is often selfless and doing things for their sake instead of your own. This is definitely necessary in marriage.

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Funny Marriage Advice

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How about enjoying some humor today? Naturally, when you solicit marriage advice, you get quite a variety of ideas from novices and veterans alike. Today’s Wisdom Wednesday will focus on some of the funny tidbits we received from others. Hope you enjoy a good laugh:

“Don’t read, or let your husband read, Proverbs 31:10-31.” (CS)

“Fight naked.” (NS and DB and AC, yes three people gave us that one.)

“Don’t eat that one year old cake!”  (CA) (We didn’t! I think it’s still in his sister’s freezer.)

“For the bride: lingerie is your next best friend.” (A)

“Have lots of s*x” – (We got a lot of these notes on note cards)

“Don’t always be right, even though you are.” (VB)

“He’ll put up with our girlie food for a while then declare his need for MEAT.” (SH)

“Earplugs, sleep masks, and tiny reading lights are bliss savers.” (SM)

“The secret is two words: ‘Yes, Ma’am.'” (MP)

“Don’t wear fanny packs.” (LR)

Funny Marriage Advice

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Be Grateful

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This week’s tidbit of marital wisdom is something we heard often from many people, but we don’t have a specific quote. So we’ll take a couple straight out of the Bible, the best book of wisdom out there.

Colossians 3:15b (niv) “…Be thankful.”

Psalms 147:7a (niv) “Sing to the Lord with grateful praise…”

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We sometimes start our prayer times by singing praises with Chris playing the guitar. Admittedly, this is harder to do if we are weathering some difficult circumstances. Sometimes, it’s easy to focus on what we don’t have and what isn’t going right. We can forget what is a wonderful blessing right before us. If Chris and I struggle with disappointments about what God isn’t doing right now, we lose sight of what He is doing. We try to make it a practice to remember to be grateful for the many blessings that are in our lives. We know this is good advice, even if it’s not always easy to follow. However, we definitely find that our household is a lot more peaceful when we have an attitude of thankfulness.

Along the lines of gratefulness, we should always remember to thank our spouses for all that they do for us and the wonderful ways in which they contribute to our lives. A “thank you” is so easy; it doesn’t cost us anything. Yet, it can mean so much.

Be grateful

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No we are not just being silly for our blog. These photos were taken by Susan Rohrer during the video shoot we did for our wedding reception (produced by Caroline Way). We took these to make thank you cards for those who came to our wedding.

Speak Well of Your Spouse Publicly

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While some who submitted marriage advice cards to us were coming from the perspective of the newly married, offering how to get things started on the right footing, others who submitted marriage advice cards have a long history of marriage:

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“Always believe the best of each other and never speak poorly of
your spouse in public. After 37 years, what started off as a practice is now a way
of life.”  (PP)

“My favorite piece of advice for someone getting married is this:  ‘Remember, you are now the reporter or press agent for your husband-to-be.’  What you say about him to others will either be good or bad.  Choose the right way and be a terrific reporter for him.” (BH)

Speak well

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Have Crazy Fun with Your Spouse

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“Keep your love strong by spending quality time together. Enjoy doing fun and crazy things together.” (CS)

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Who says marriage is supposed to get routine and be boring? The fun shouldn’t stop!

We went to a photographer’s studio and played around, doing funny poses and taking crazy pictures. It’s one of the ways we like to have fun.  What’s fun for each married couple is going to look different than what’s fun for us. Just make sure you find ideas that are fun for both spouses.

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Here’s another example. Every road trip we take together, we try to find ways to take some silly photos by posing with various things in the environment. Whether its statues, murals, or acting out fun scenes when we stumble upon “set” like places, we are game for some silly fun. Our scrapbooks from trips are a lot more interesting than normal smiley photos! Here’s just one of many examples from Williams, AZ:

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Renew Your Vows

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“Plan to renew your vows at every opportunity.” (KSM)

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Renew Vows

We loved this piece of advice. I usually hear of people doing this at a particular marker, like the 20th year or some other big anniversary, having a ceremony among friends and family. Chris & I decided to take this advice to heart and started the tradition on our first anniversary trip. Yesterday was our second anniversary. This is a tradition we plan to continue. Reminding each other what we promised on our wedding day is a very good practice.

On our first anniversary trip, we went on a road trip up the coast of HWY 1, and stopped in a little town called Harmony. (Population 18. It’s one street long.) We stopped at their chapel and renewed our vows right there. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We didn’t book the place or anything. We just stopped on our way to San Simeon, and set up the tripod and took a photo while we did it to capture the memory.

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Put God First then Your Spouse

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“Continue loving God first and showering His love on each other.” (LF)

“Each day continue to look for the imprint of God in the lives of each other and you will always be refreshed and fall deeper in love. Seeing Jesus in your wife and seeing Jesus in your husband will always be exciting and fresh.” (PF)

“My favorite piece of advice to anyone contemplating marriage is to make sure that God is at the center of that relationship. Although marriage is a wonderful thing, it is also difficult at times so understanding that God is the first member of your relationship is a must. When hubby and I are having a disagreement, we make the choice to take our eyes off of each other and look up to God instead for guidance.” (anonymous)

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Put God First

How does putting God first look to you in your marriage?

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